I’m still smiling from sex this past weekend with Master.

Sometimes it’s the small things that make me smile…like losing myself in the sumptuous task of sucking His cock and licking His balls. There are times I get frustrated that my jaw and my body position prevent me from having more stamina on any particular day, but otherwise time suspends when I’m worshiping His cock. I feel like I could do it all day.

When he slid His cock inside me, he told me I couldn’t cum until he told me to. My pussy was already wet from licking His cock and balls, and I enjoyed His cock gliding in and out of my well-lubricated pussy. When He added licking and sucking on my nipples to the mix, I felt the orgasm starting to well inside me.

At one point, I let out a big sigh…a reaction a bit out of place in the moment. He asked me what that was. I said, “I’m thinking about baseball,” indicating my attempt to hold my orgasm at bay. He continued licking my nipple as He conveyed that He wasn’t sure that would help me because I’d just start thinking about all those balls and those bats and about being fucked with one. I laughed out loud because – yes – clearly that wasn’t going to work now (or ever again!).

My squirting orgasms feel so amazing. They’re different than a clit orgasm, which tends to feel tingly and electric. Squirting comes from a deeper place inside me. Once I have one, they start coming in waves. I feel them through my entire body. They were particularly deep and intense this time. I enjoy how much my body seems to be opening to allow these incredible sensations. Squirting really is about being open and letting go.

I discovered my ability to squirt about this time last year. It’s wonderful to reflect on the joy of the initial experience and how my exploration has evolved my understanding of my body. It’s a connection and appreciation for my body that has eluded me most of my life.

As I look back and see how far I’ve come in a year, I wonder where I’ll be a year from now as I continue to open up and let go.

“Roll onto your side…either side,” he said.

I chose my right side.

I felt him pull my ass cheeks apart. He was looking at my anus, so I thought he was going to insert his finger(s) in my ass. Before I could finish that thought…

Slap! He’d taken his first whack at my ass with his bare hand.

The first one is always pure pain. The first one makes you question why you like this so much.

Slap! He strikes my ass again…and again…and again. I’m squirming. Just when the pain seems unbearable…just before I have the thought that I want this to stop, I start floating into subspace.

His strikes still hurt, but my skin is now tingling and a deep calmness washes over me. His hands find that rhythm: pain – striking my skin with his strong, open hand – and pleasure – stroking my skin with his strong, open hand.

While it is a rhythm, it is not a pattern a sub can anticipate. His strokes soothing my stinging skin give me pleasure, but I imagine it is his pause – his white space – to decide where to strike next. My skin is his canvas and my pleasure in receiving this pain with an open heart is his muse.

At some point (time is irrelevant now), I hear him unzip his pants. I smile anticipating that his cock will soon be in my mouth. I hear something else…as if something is being pulled quickly against his clothing with a “swoosh” sound. What could that be? I think “belt” just as the leather cracks against my skin.

I hear his new, fine Italian leather belt in the air just before I feel each crack. “More” is the only thought I have now.

He whips me a few times before he puts his cock in front of my face. I open wide and suck eagerly. He whips me as I suck.

I want to worship his cock with my full attention, and I want to savor each stroke of the belt.

I want to be his canvas…his muse. I want to know how far he can take me. I want to know how far I can go.