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Posts Tagged ‘blindfold’

“There are many things on my agenda today. First, go sit on the bed,” He says.

I go into the bedroom and sit on the bed. He enters the room with a bag, sets it down and starts to open it while he declares. “Today is punishment day.”

My pussy immediately tingles. Punishing a masochist with pain is an interesting paradox.

He blindfolds me, and then tells me to lay face down on the bed with my hands just at the edge of the bed. I hear him jingling items around until he walks to my hands and starts to cuff them. He also places a bar in between the cuffs.

The tail of the blindfold has fallen over my mouth. With my head close to the bed, I start to have a bit of trouble breathing. He asks me if I can breathe, but I manage to move the blindfold away from my mouth with a few strategic open and closings of my mouth.

He spreads my legs. He lubes my ass and works an object into it. Many things can remind me that I’m owned, but having Him play with or fuck my ass is near – if not at the top – of the list. In order to let Him in fully, I have to let go. Relaxing my sphincter puts my whole body into a very receptive state.

He caresses my body while He tells me a bit of His thinking. He was trying to decide how many lashes: 25 seemed like too few and 100 seemed a bit much. He suggests the number will be something in between…and tells me that I don’t have to keep count because He predicts I’ll be too overwhelmed to do so.

The first lashes start. I want to keep count, but lose my place after about 4. I know it is important to keep my legs spread, and I feel grateful for the bar between my arms to help me keep them in place. I’m writhing, and the lashes are painful. Then one hits right at the small of my back and top of my buttocks. It’s the one that sends me over the edge to crying.

He alternates between what feels like a flogger and what feels like a cane (although I’m not sure exactly what instruments He’s using). The stings on top of the tender skin from the flogger feels almost unbearable. I grab the bedding with my fists and mouth, trying to diffuse the pain. When I let the bedding out of my mouth and gasp for breath, I feel the drool running out of my mouth.

He tells me to turn over, and helps me maneuver the spreader bar to do so. I keep my legs open although I fear that my pussy is next. Instead, He starts swatting my nipples. I don’t have time to warn Him that something is wrong with my left nipple. He hits it and I scream while starting to curl up into a ball. He commands, “Keep your legs open!” In between sobs and trying to catch my breath, I say that I have to tell Him something. It’s hard to put together the words, but I manage to spit out that the left one has a small tear or something near the nipple ring. I’ve been soaking it in salt water, but it is not healed yet. He works around it with subsequent lashes, although he does end up hitting it again. These are the only two times I move my hands and legs from their assigned positions.

Before I know it, He is lashing my pussy. He’s using the cane-like device, and the pain is intense. He comments that I like it, and I do in way that I’m still trying to comprehend.

As He finishes, he asks, “The next time…will you talk instead of reacting?”

I say yes but it kind of eeks out and doesn’t match my conviction, so I repeat louder, “Yes.”

He has me sit up. I hear rustling. He then comes up behind me on the bed, and pulls my hair to the side. I feel the collar around my neck and take a deep breath. I take several more as he works to lock it. I feel His hand brush my hair lightly in circular motions as he turns the wrench. I couldn’t be happier.

I looked in the mirror as I was cleaning myself up after sex. I just smiled. I’ve often told Master that when I look in the mirror, the person I see isn’t how I see myself in my mind. Wearing His collar starts to change that. I look and feel more of who I am when wearing it.

Sitting on the couch in the living room afterwards, I asked, “Did you count?”

“Yes,” He replied.

“How many?”

“115″

Last Saturday I learned the wonderful capabilities of my body and experienced female ejaculation and multiple orgasms for the first time. I’ve been sharing with Master all week in much detail as I learned more about my body through my (somewhat obsessive) exploration with my dildo. I couldn’t wait for Master to come and experience all of this with me (pun intended).

“I’m on my way…I’m trying to decide what to do with you first,” He says on the phone. My body tingles knowing my wait to see him is ending. I also love that he is plotting and planning and that my job is to surrender.

I showed Master my newfound skills. I was a bit worried about performance anxiety and if I’d be able to replicate cumming with an audience. That worry was quite unfounded. Having Master watch me masturbate is highly arousing. He massaged around my vulva as I masturbated with this wonderful g-spot tool. I loved how his strong touch enhanced the deep pleasures welling up from inside me.

I don’t even know how long we spent having sex. Time suspended. We did so many things…he fucked my sopping wet pussy after I came masturbating for Him…I licked his ass and fucked it with my tongue…he tried to fuck my ass (more on that later)…he blindfolded me…he whipped me with something new (he wouldn’t tell me what it was) and I loved it…he fucked my pussy with my g-spot tool and watched the cum come out of me like a waterfall…he pulled on one of my nipples while doing this and I came (with cum) instantly, which pleased me no end…he then put his cock in my pussy and I ejaculated with him inside me (which pleasantly surprised him)….I licked his nipples and He came…I asked to lick his balls and reveled in savoring them…while down there I explored his ass with my tongue again…I licked his nipples one more time…He came again…and I lapped up every last drop of cum before resting in his arms.

We spent the rest of the day together, and I enjoyed spending so much uninterrupted time with him. In fact, I didn’t even realize how late it was when he finally got up to leave.

He called me on his way home, which was wonderful since I didn’t really want our day to end. He gave me an assignment to work on stretching my ass with my dildo over the next two weeks, which I will eagerly do. We then talked and talked until he got home. I love how we still have so much we’re learning about each other.

I slept soundly and deeply…the best I’ve slept in a while actually. I woke gradually this morning. I feel very content, but I also have an empty feeling.

I hate this feeling after he leaves. In the past, it has triggered other feelings related to times as a child when I felt left alone. Before when I didn’t recognize that I was being triggered, I’d focus on whatever I felt was not perfect about our relationship and we’d deal with that for however many days. I look back and I lament how the old marred the new…and how confusing it must have been for Master to have a great time with me and then have me be so sad or mad or upset afterwards.

Since joining FetLife, I’ve realized there is a term for this: subdrop. I didn’t realize that most (if not all) subs experience this. From my reading I know it can vary in degrees. I’d say today is a mild case of subdrop. Still I’d rather do without it!

When I start to feel the emptiness, I close my eyes and caress my body. I lightly touch my nipples and tug on the rings. I imagine Master is watching me or guiding me and asking me to soothe myself since he’s not here. I think about suckling his cock. He and I have joked that it is my “pacifier.” I take my dildo and suckle it. Surprisingly, it does help.

I’ve always struggled with my needs…that I am somehow bad for having them. It’s taken me a lot to untangle those messages…and it’s in times like these when I can be with the feelings rather than succumbing to them that I realize how far I’ve come.

I know He is not going away. I feel that comfort more and more each day. I also feel Him weaving more and more into the fiber of my being. In that sense, I feel myself going through a metamorphosis. I will not just one day suddenly be His slave…I am becoming His slave.

The leather covers my closed eyes
The strings wrap around my head
He twists and ties the ends

My surrender complete
My submission begins

Isn’t it funny
How this piece of material
Changes my point of view?

“What can i do for Him?”
i silently plead
Words are not needed
Except His commands

Feeling not whole but complete
When i glimpse into the darkness
i’m surprised to see myself

Drawn like metal to a magnet
i seek with Him
A world where trust
Turns darkness into light