surrendering to who I am…

role models


Name three fictional characters who would be a good role model for an aspiring slave and explain why.

Diana, Princess of Themyscira – aka Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman, particularly the character as played by Gal Gadot in the 2017 movie version, epitomizes the physical, emotional and mental strength of a woman who knows herself well and expresses all she is to the world without apology.

The cultural connotations of a submissive as helpless, weak and serving at the expense of her own needs or desires are often internalized early in a girl’s life. As women, we begin to discover and embrace our submissiveness and we tend to lean on these mistaken beliefs to guide our early actions; however, we soon find ourselves – at best – feeling empty and unfulfilled or – at worst – in an abusive relationship.

As one moves towards slavery, a submissive must shed these internalized beliefs to discover her true nature. The best way for her to do this is to tap into the devotion that she instinctively knows how to do to generate her own strength.

Wonder Woman puts this kind of devotion on full display. She embodies it throughout the movie from her early training to the final battle. As Steve Trevor witnesses her devotion, it inspires him in his final act to sacrifice himself. Her devotion is generated from within; however, she uses her love for Steve to fuel her devotion in the final battle. I love how it is both: the love of a man fuels her but she is not dependent on it.

Any woman can find inspiration in Diana, Princess of Themyscira, and an aspiring slave can see her as a role model for the strength that allows her to embrace and express her true nature unapologetically.

Kamala from The Perfect Mate (Star Trek: TNG S5 EP21)

The Perfect Mate episode challenges modern day notions that a woman would not make a conscious choice to be a slave. Kamala displays a level of peace and confidence about her true nature that an aspiring slave both needs and craves.

Kamala interacts with many members of the crew but ends up prematurely bonding with Captain Picard before she can be given to her intended mate, Alrik of Valt. As Captain Picard asks questions of her, she confidently explains how serving is her true nature.

I wish I could convey to you what it’s like to be a metamorph: to feel the inner strength of someone, to realize that being with him is opening your mind and heart to endless new possibilities, to hear yourself say, “I like myself when I’m with him.”

As a submissive, it has taken me a long time to be at peace with my instincts of wanting to know and do things because it serves my Master. It’s not the answer a modern-day woman should give. Yet, it is the only answer I can give, that – deep down – gives me peace.

An aspiring slave’s journey includes coming to terms with her true nature. Once she does, she will find the inner peace from accepting who she really is and – in turn – the confidence to share herself fully with her Master and with the world.

Lee Holloway from the movie Secretary

The movie Secretary is a good one for every aspiring slave to study since it covers so many aspects of a submissive discovering herself (plus it is entertaining!). The one thing that stands out for me from the main character, Lee, is the way she follows her instincts, which are based on her deepest desires, to lead her through her journey.

The scene that best exemplifies this is where Mr. Grey has told her to put her hands palms down on the desk and to keep her feet on the floor until he gets back. He then leaves and watches her from the window.

He calls her, and she tries to pick up the phone with her teeth so as not to disobey his command to keep her hands on the desk and her feet on the floor.

Mr. Grey calls Lee’s fiance, Peter, and he shows up at the office. The fiance is baffled by her actions and asks her, “Why don’t you move your hands?”

“Because I don’t want to,” she answers.

Peter then tries to force her out of the chair, and she struggles to get away from him and back into the chair with her hands on the desk and feet on the floor.

Mr. Grey leaves her there so long she has to pee, and she goes while sitting on the chair rather than get up to go to the bathroom and disobey his commands.

Over the course of three days, she sees various people from her life giving their opinions on what she is doing and advice on what to do. Through it all, she holds steadfast and does not move her hands or feet.

Before Mr. Grey goes to release her – and ultimately take her as his own – he reads a letter she wrote to him where she says:

In one way or another, I’ve always suffered. I didn’t know why exactly, but I do know that I am not so scared of suffering now. I feel more than I’ve ever felt, and I’ve found someone to feel with, to play with, to love – in a way that feels right for me.

The power in this scene is not in Lee following Mr. Grey’s commands but in her desire to do so. While a submissive can be trained, these kinds of instincts borne of her desire cannot be taught. A submissive needs to follow these instincts to lead her along her journey to slavery.

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surrendering to who I am…




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