surrendering to who I am…

preparing to serve


I’m working on stretching my anus so Master can easily fuck my ass.

He’d mentioned having me stretch myself a while ago. I interpreted what he said as “someday.” When he mentioned it again two weeks ago, there was something about the tone of His voice that I realized it wasn’t some future thing…but now. So, I started that night. I used my g-spot toy, which was great. It has two “bulbs” on the end, making for nice anal massage.

I then got a little eager and used my dildo the next day. I got it in and all seemed well. I thought I was ready for Master. I must have gotten a tear, though, because when Master tried it just hurt. At Master’s suggestion, I let it heal for a few days. Now I am back to stretching.

I’m really enjoying giving myself anal massage. I’m actually surprised I have not discovered this sooner! It is so very relaxing. I know my goal is to stretch for Master, but giving myself a nightly anal massage along with masturbating just seems like a fine routine. 🙂

I start out by lubing my g-spot toy. I lay on my side and bring one knee up. The cool lube feels like it is melting as it touches my warm skin. I guide the end to my anus. I run the bulb end over it to coax myself to relax. I push gently but firmly, and I feel my body allow this object in. I pause…not because it hurts but to savor the opening feeling.

I start moving my toy in and out, a little deeper each time. When I sense I’ve inserted to the widest part of my toy I pause again, savoring the open feeling more. I allow myself to explore and feel all the different sensations. Short thrusts…long ones…fast…slow. My pussy gets more and more wet but I concentrate solely on my ass.

I imagine Master spooning with me and his cock moving in and out of me. I smile as I think how relaxing this is and laugh a little at the idea of Master telling me to “go massage your ass” in moments when I’m totally worked up and need to relax.

My body enjoys each sensation, and my mind wanders to all the ways Master can use my ass.

I slowly pull the toy all the way out and go to the sink to wash it and wipe up a bit. I come back to the bed, spread my legs and insert the toy into my very wet pussy. Hitting my g-spot with these rhythmic thrusts is so deeply satisfying. The first orgasm wells up inside me. The feeling like you’re going to pee (as people describe) is definitely true. It also feels very out of control to let go and ejaculate (which is why I suspect most women hold on and don’t allow themselves to go there). The warm cum flowing up and out of my body and then dripping down my pussy and onto the towel in between me and the sheets gets me more aroused. The orgasms and the cum just keep flowing. I could probably keep going and going. When I feel mostly satisfied, I rub my clit for a nice finale.

I curl up with my pillow to start drifting off to sleep…but something feels like it is missing. I start thinking how suckling Master’s cock would be the perfect way to fall asleep. Without him here, I pull out my dildo and put it in my mouth. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out as my lips curl around it and my eyes close. My tongue follows the ridge of the head and the saliva seeps from my from lips and makes suckling it easier. I push it in as far as it will go (seeing if I can go further each time) and then pull it out to the tip to suckle some more. I don’t even notice as my movements slow. My awareness returns briefly as the dildo feels heavy in my hand. I allow my jaw to drop a little to release it from my mouth. I move my hand to the edge of the bed and let the dildo drop to the floor. I pull my hand back under the covers and drift to sleep.

Preparing myself so I am ready for Him – whether it is stretching my ass, surrendering to the capabilities of my body like being able to ejaculate, practicing with a dildo so I can take his cock deeper into my throat or suckling a dildo to pacify myself when he’s not here – is  fun and satisfying. But my greater joy is having my mind, body and soul ready, willing and able to serve at His pleasure.

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surrendering to who I am…




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