surrendering to who I am…

fuck me silly

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Master fucked me silly this afternoon. 🙂

I’ve been on orgasm restriction the last two weeks. When He put me on restriction, it was a busy week, and I had not masturbated much at all. So, it has been two or three weeks since I’ve cum.

It actually feels like longer, though. It’s been over a month since I last had sex with Master. While I’ve masturbated since then, it’s mostly the short-orgasm-before-I-fall-asleep kind of masturbation (in other words, not wholly satisfying).

When He put me on restriction, He said I could play with myself, but I couldn’t cum. In what probably falls into a textbook definition of a masochist, I did play with my vibrator and would bring myself to the edge without cumming. It probably wasn’t smart to tempt myself this way, but I love feeling His control in such a physical way even when He is not here.

He started with some caresses, then took out the riding crop. The pain felt so good. It’s interesting how I brace myself when I know a strike is coming. He struck me with a mix of soft and hard hits. One across my back made my eyes tear. In preparing for what would be His last strike, I clenched my whole body anticipating a hard swat. He then tapped me lightly. I like how He teases me.

He fucked me to many, many orgasms. He peppered permission, no permission and moments of not having to ask permission throughout. He’d pause and I thought He was done, then He’d enter me again, and I’d cum several more times.

I couldn’t stand up at the end. I’d stand up and have to sit down. I’ve tried to concentrate on some tasks since He left, and it’s useless. My body is still buzzing, and my head is floating in a haze.

I like feeling lost in this haze. It takes my mind off feeling lost.

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surrendering to who I am…

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