surrendering to who I am…

finding ease

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We were sitting on the couch. He says His eyes were starting to burn, but He didn’t know why. I heard the mower going on outside.

“Are you allergic to grass?” I asked.

“Yes,” He replied. “Why do you ask?”

I called His attention to the mower while I got up to shut the sliding glass door.

On my way back to the couch, I grabbed a tissue. I thought I noticed His eyes watering a bit when I got up.

I didn’t offer him the tissue, though. While my instinct was to grab one for Him, He had not asked for one. I laid it on the couch while we continued to talk.

After a few minutes, He got up and started heading toward the bathroom. I said, “Did you need a tissue? Because I have one right here for you.”

I handed it to Him as He walked back toward the couch. “You’re anticipating my needs now,” He mused out loud.

In the moment, I brushed it off by saying it wasn’t magic and that I was just observant. As I reflect now, I realize my propensity to diminish myself when moments like this happen.

The power of observation is a finely honed skill, particularly in a submissive. Observation is one side of the coin while the other is my submissive instinct. The juncture where my instinct and observation meets how He’s trained me results in moments like this.

I’m surprised in these moments, not that they happen but by the deep sense of ease I feel. That ease comes from finding that perfect balance point.

Balance is not static, and locating that balance point is a continual process. I so enjoy that process, especially as I connect with that deep sense of ease more and more.

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surrendering to who I am…

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