surrendering to who I am…

black and red


What is black and white and red all over? Not a newspaper…my ass!

“What are you doing?” He asked me on a Monday afternoon. I’d just finished a project before he called. I did have a to-do list that I rattled off to him, but I knew he’d just left his office and was near my house. I wondered if he wanted to come over…I wanted him to come over.

“It sounds like you’re busy,” He says as my heart drops. I laughed a little bit on the inside, though….did he really expect me to say I was doing nothing on a workday afternoon?

He did come over. I was cleaning up a bit before he arrived. I’d had my body brush out scratching an itch on my back the day before. I was going to put it away when I thought he might like to use it.

He wanted me to lick his balls. I could do that all day long. I love the feel of my tongue on the delicate skin…taking each ball into my mouth as I suck ever so gently. His moans make my pussy wet as I take my tongue from the bottom of his balls and lick all the way up to the shaft. I run my lips around the head of his cock before I take it into my mouth. I position myself so he can see my hanging breasts and I rub them against him while I take his cock as deeply as I can into my throat. I’m bound and determined to deep throat him someday. He grabs my hair to help me take it deeper.

He asks me if I’m ready for him to fuck my ass. “Of course!” I said glibly. While it has been a long time since he’s done that to me, I’d been able to take his big cock into my ass before.

Before he fucks my ass, he takes that body brush and starts whacking my ass. Oh man it hurt! I writhe and yelp with every stroke. “Stay put,” He commands even though I’m wanting to crawl up the bed and away. He only needed to tell me once, and I focused on taking every stroke. It felt better when he turned and used the brush side – that gave a bit of pleasure mixed with the pain. The backside of the brush though just plain hurt!

“There’s lube in my nightstand,” I said with my ass in the air as I wondered for a brief moment if he would try without it. He took out a brand new bottle but I pointed him to the used bottle that was also in there. He got a glimpse into my goodie drawer…and some new toys I’ve acquired since he last saw it.

“A slut is always prepared,” I commented.

“Not always,” He said.

Your slut is always prepared,” I corrected myself.

“Yes,” He said with a little chuckle.

He used one of my toys to help stretch me a bit. I was surprised how much it hurt! He then started to slide his thick cock into my tight ass. I tried to relax to take him in. I always want of feel all of his cock inside of me – whichever hole he chooses to use.

I’d take as much as I could and then tell him to stop. He’d let me pause a moment before pushing again. At one point he asked me if I was OK, and I said yes even though my body was saying differently. I had brief flashes to times when he was able to fuck my ass balls deep and realized we’d have to work back up to that. He pulled out as I sighed a bit of disappointment… which didn’t last for long.

After washing, he invited me into in his arms. I instinctively took one of his nipples into my mouth and then looked up at him and asked if he wanted me to lick his nipples. He pointed out to me that I didn’t ask first, and I apologized and asked permission. I licked his nipples while he masturbated. The very first night we slept together I instinctively licked his nipples while he masturbated. I remember him telling me how special I was for doing that. To this day, it is one of my favorite things to do…especially when he grabs my hair and directs where he wants my mouth to be.

Just as he was about to come, I took his cock into my mouth and swallowed every drop. I love how he tastes, and I love making sure not a drop is wasted.

I laid in his arms and he wondered how I’d take a cane if I writhed and yelped so much with “just a brush.” I laughed and asked if he thought I was being too dramatic. He did seem to think my reaction was out-of-proportion. He said I needed to be able to take 50 strokes.

black and red

Before he left, he took the brush and spanked me again – hard and fast. When he finished, he said that was 25. Honestly, I wasn’t counting and just enjoyed the air on my stinging skin as I tried to catch my breath.

As we lingered at the door, I don’t remember what I said but he replied, “I’ll get the brush again.” I gave him a smart look with my eyes, and he walked back to the bedroom. I leaned over the couch, and this time counted in my mind every single stroke. It hurt even more given that my skin was already stinging from the other 25. As I received #25, I turn around on the verge of tears and trying to catch my breath. “Next time you’ll count outloud,” He said as he hugged me.

We took the picture the next day. I’m still trying to reconcile how my reactions to the brush could be out-of-proportion given the bruises I was sporting!! While he has spanked me fairly recently, I have not had regular beatings. I imagine in some small way it is like getting waxed. The first time you’re waxed it just hurts like hell! After a while, it still hurts but your tolerance increases.

I realize that a lot of what excites me when he spanks me is the mix of pleasure and pain (as he soothes my skin in between strokes)…which didn’t happen with the brush. Nevertheless, enduring the pain and knowing that pleases Him still excites me. I experienced a lot of pleasure walking around in the days following knowing my ass had all these beautiful bruises…and watching them fade is bittersweet. I like being marked as His. He says he wants to take me the verge of crying…and then take me further to where I can’t help but cry. I have no doubt He will…and I look forward to it.

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surrendering to who I am…




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