create (not fate)
“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They are in each other all along.” -Rumi
This quote showed up in my mailbox today. I just smiled when I read it.
Through a conversation with Master last week, we discovered that I had e-mail messages from the beginning of our relationship that he hadn’t saved himself. So, I’ve been working to identify the messages he is missing from our “archive” of exchanges and getting him a copy of them.
While doing this, I browsed our messages. It was quite a walk down memory lane! In many ways, I see how I’ve grown; in other ways, I see places where I’m still stuck.
Long before Master, I was enamored of the idea of soulmates. I romanticized and fantasized about finding my soulmate. Like the fairy tales, I believed in “happily ever after.”
Sometimes I still daydream about happily ever after, but I no longer believe in the concept of a single soulmate. The word soulmate has a fatalistic connotation that negates the ways we create our own world.
When I read the above quote this morning, I liked it because it describes succinctly the draw we have for another person, but I also interpreted that Rumi wasn’t chalking it all up to fate.
Relationships are hard work, and I think it takes more than fate to bring two people together and then make it work. What I find hardest is peeling the layers of vulnerability. Just when I think I’ve bared my soul, another layer reveals itself.
This kind of vulnerability is not exclusive to M/s (D/s) relationships, but my journey to be His slave is peeling layers that I’m sure I never would have reached in a vanilla relationship.
Even through the roughest of times with Master over the years we’ve known each other, I feel like He’s been in me. That’s why I smiled when I read this quote.
